Please Don't Sit Next to Me

Fact: The longest word in the English Language is, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis except not exactly, click on the link to see why there are technically some exceptions. Silicosis for short, is an actual medical term used to describe a condition where volcanic ashes containing silicon dioxide infect a patient’s lungs and cause inflammation.

There are three things I absolutely can't stand about any given semester.

1.) Being in the crowded elevators and the awkward moments that ensue. For example: earlier this week I was in a rush and someone had just made it into the entrance and was running to the elevator as the doors were closing. Unfortunately for that girl she missed the lift but lucky for me I would be in class on time so I turn to the others in the elevator and I smirk (feeling accomplished), in fact, I’m so happy I say, "sucks for her” to which some guy responds “ I was going to hold it open for her but you were kinda in the way,” so I smile and shamefully finish my nine floors up.The awkwardness didn't stop there .... guess who sat next to me in class ...yup...and she even picked up my pen after I clumsily dropped it.

2.) The “melting pot” at this university makes for a great place to meet and mingle except when the pot is actually just one big ash tray. All I have to say to smokers is that I increase my life expectancy by 18 years by choosing NOT to smoke!

3.) Any weekday at the “Potspot” (my dorm whose actual name I won’t reveal for safety reasons) is a day for a party. Basically drinking is fair game anytime between noon and midnight, that’s right people, they aren’t even cool enough to wait until after midnight to get schwasty-faced or high. Which brings me to my great business proposal, inspired by none other then the weed wafting pot posers on my floor, who try and cover up the smell of burning nature by pouring vats of Febreeze or Lysol in and around their rooms. No matter how much they use I can still smell their leftovers, I feel that I could remedy this which is why my future is in the odor removal business. They mostly fear Dave our very laid back rent -a- cop who is actually an overgrown frat boy. I’m not sure if they have figured out that Dave has no power to arrest them and is actually only there so the dorm can put some use to the overpriced rent they charge by giving him a paycheck. Truth is the only way they can be caught is if someone calls the cops…ooo now there’s an idea.